With almost as much regularity as my inbox, I now go to my junk mail file, and while it’s not the safest thing to open some of the already blocked mail, sometimes it’s hard to resist. I mean, yeah, it’s easy to avoid messages from Ginger on Fuckbook, or all the “add inches to your member” ads, but when there’s just a name appearing, and the subject heading indicates an urgent message, I prepare to be entertained. 

             So I’m now done reading the third sob story from someone who’s lost their father in a plane crash, dad was a dignitary of sorts, but inheritance, mostly property, was sold by wicked relatives, who took all the money. A year later, documents were found leaving a large sum of money in a foreign bank designated only for next of kin, the composer of the letter apparently being the only one who qualifies. Ah, but the father has included a proviso that states the money will only be released if the heir is married or has a trustee that can transfer money to a personal bank account. 

              This is apparently where I come into the equation(s). The person wants to relocate from native country because of death threats, and is entrusting the story to me because I seem to be the one most likely to help. MOI??? Thankfully, the marriage idea seemed to take a back seat, since I’ve had enough trouble being married to people I already KNOW! I’d be eligible for 20% of the inheritance, theoretically netting me close to a million dollars. Easy Peasy! 

                Now, backing up a bit, nowhere is my name ever mentioned in the e-mail, so how do they know I’m not some counter-agent? Picky picky, but I guess what was most intriguing is that in letters #2 & 3, the story is exactly the same except for the name of the writer. There was also a supposed CNN link to verify the plane crash, but nothing appeared for the date in question. So we can safely conclude it was bullshit, and get on with our day. At least with this scam, there was no chain letter type of threat, i.e. if I don’t act upon this and send it to at least 10 friends, they’ll turn my family into toadstools.  

                A friend of mine was harassed by a similar chain of e-mails a few months back, when she was looking to rent an apartment. Some internet prankster sent various e-mails to her under fictitious names, all claiming to be not only the owners of the properties, but also American clergymen living in third world countries. They all were looking for someone responsible, then said “the keys to the apartment are with me in (Ivory Coast, Tanzania, Kuala Lumpur, wherever), and will be sent to you after you’ve made the balance transfers.” In other words, we don’t know each other, but send me money anyway. 

                 In both of the above cases, I can only ask: Is there anyone dumb enough to fall for this stuff? And if there is, how has that person survived in the world as long as he/she has? In the meantime, I look forward to my next cry for help.

                                               Merry Christmas everybody!!