What I’m Thankful For

Published by Rick on Tagged Uncategorized

Here it is again, possibly the most misunderstood holiday on the planet, only wholly celebrated in the USA, and with negative stories about its origins surfacing frequently. The latest accounting is a complete dressing down of the Pilgrims, whom we were told fled to America’s Northeastern shores in the early 17th century to escape religious persecution in their homeland. The accepted Thanksgiving myth is that these pioneers labored for their first year tilling the land and raising crops that finally yielded, albeit with less than half of the original settlers actually surviving to enjoy that yield. While their survival was accomplished under the most trying of circumstances (disease and poor weather were major problems), new stories have been uncovered that paint the Pilgrims in a less loving portrait. Where they were originally believed to be peace-loving, moral and honest Christians, new evidence has suggested they were totally barbaric, slaughtering Native Americans as part of their survival. One grotesque story about the supposed celebratory “feast” tells about their invitation to one tribal leader to join them in the celebration as a peaceful gesture, only to kill and behead the chief, displaying his head on a pole as they ate. (Some of the same type of stories have also been revealed about Christopher Columbus, and some states have opted to abandon Columbus Day as a holiday in response.)

So the first thing I’m thankful for is that I wasn’t around then. I’ve made my other beefs about the holiday before, and it’s funny to think that in response to America’s notorious Black Friday, given to the day after Thanksgiving when the Christmas shopping season officially kicks off with total chaos at all the major US shopping malls, Britain now experiences the same thing, even without the holiday to attach itself to. In that instance, I’m thankful I don’t have children to shop for, as the competition to get each year’s must-haves seems to increase each year.

I’m also thankful that I’m not involved in the lunacy that goes with getting the whole family together for a four-day weekend. Probably the busiest day of the year in American airports is that day before Thanksgiving, where college students, some maybe 3000 miles away from their families, have to hope for a near last-minute miracle that a seat will open up on the one flight that goes where they need to be. Being alone on Thanksgiving could be almost as bad as being alone on Christmas, and that’s what many of these students would be facing.

The last time I celebrated Thanksgiving in America was 2001, and on Thanksgiving Day 2002, I remember getting a call from my family in California. I was just preparing to enter the Queen’s Theatre in Upminster, Essex to do a show, and had pretty much forgotten what day it was until I got that phone call. My dad was on the line, and while he didn’t intend to do it, he still managed to throw some guilt on me. “There’s a missing chair here,” he said, echoing what his (very quintessential Jewish) mother would have most certainly said to him in the same situation, “It just isn’t the same.” I replied with, “Yes, I miss you all, and I’m sorry I can’t be there, but I’m about to enter a beautiful historic venue for what looks like a magnificent gig with a lovely audience,” which it was. I was thankful for that.

I’m also thankful not to be stuffing my face with tons of food and drink, and being obligated to have every possible incarnation of turkey for the next 3 or 4 days, since keeping it around any longer than that risks ptomaine poisoning, among other things. I like a bit of variety, call me crazy. I also won’t miss the weight gain that invariably came. Tonight I’m invited for a chicken dinner, and thankful that I have friends over here who have already made sure I won’t be alone for any protracted time during this hysterical time of year unless I want to be. Good people here seem to come out of the woodwork.

I’m thankful that while what’s left of my comedy career seems to exist more in the US than UK, I have other things here that are occupying my time. They’re regular gigs that I totally enjoy, and the people I’m entertaining show their appreciation as much as some of my best comedy audiences. I’m confident that in the coming year my DJ’ing and Quiz Mastering will supersede comedy as my source of income, though I’d be reticent to give that up completely. If missing a somewhat unnecessary holiday is the worst case scenario, I think I can cope.

Oh yeah, and given my unbridled support of San Francisco sports teams, I’m thankful the Warriors are doing so extremely well while the 49’ers are possibly the worst team in the NFL, taking the boredom off that 100-plus day wait until the baseball season starts.

November 26th, 2015



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