In looking down the list of the UK’s top 100 singles of 2012, the most prominent word, at least among the artists’ names, is “featuring,” and appearing only slightly less are the words “David Guetta” and “Calvin Harris.” These were the go-to guys in case the vocalists wanted a no-brainer quickie hit and didn’t mind that the songs were not exactly classics in the making. It’s a shame that Mr. Harris was dragged into this, because toward the end of the 00’s, he had more than one tune as a soloist that I particularly liked.

                  While Harris may have sacrificed artistry for gold, there were a couple on the other end of the spectrum that came through with their best efforts, Cheryl Cole, Taylor Swift and Sean Paul come to mind. Then there were the tunes that were played to death yet I still found redeeming, such as the top 2 tunes of the year, “Somebody That I Used To Know” by Gotye and “Call Me Maybe” by Carly Rae Jepsen. And despite too many talk show hosts making fools of themselves trying to do the dance, the actual record and video of “Gangnam Style” still work for me.

                     The unfortunate thing about 2012 musically is there’s nothing in my top 5 that I believe I’ll feel strongly about years from now. I may even look at this list later and wonder what I was thinking. My actual two favorite songs of this year were re-issues: Elbow’s “One Day Like This,” which made its long overdue entry into UK’s top 5 after its inclusion in the Olympic ceremonies, and 2007’s “Welcome Home” by Radical Face, which didn’t chart, but features in Nikon commercials.

                     So here we go, feel free to agree or disagree:

                              MY TOP FIVE OF 2012

5.  We Are Young — Fun featuring Janelle Monáe  It was nice to see some other Rock band besides Coldplay and Maroon 5 reaching #1, and with a happy, hummable, feel-good song. 

4.  N****s In Paris — Jay-Z & Kanye West  For 2011, I ranked their jumbled, posturing, vanity trip “Otis” as the worst single of the year. I’m glad I gave them another chance. While there was nearly the same level of chaos, this one injected the humour that was sadly missing from its predecessor.

3.  DNA — Little Mix  A bit slow to get going, but the chorus is very classy and well-sung, especially in its final repetition. The 2011 X Factor winners may be manufactured, but unlike One Direction, they can actually harmonize, and while this may be their artistic highlight, at least they have one.

2.  Bom Bom — Sam & The Womp  I like stupid, and this song has truckloads of it! Especially the line “I got a pie in my pocket, I got an eye in my socket.” That, plus a goofy, faux-salsa instrumentation.

1.  Beneath Your Beautiful — Labrinth featuring Emeli Sandé  A lovely pop song which may become easily bastardised by too many talent-show contestants in the year to come. And a gold star to Labrinth for turning the word “beautiful” into a noun. 

                            MY BOTTOM FIVE OF 2012

5.  Hot Right Now — DJ Fresh feat. Rita Ora  Second year in a row for Fresh, and mostly for the same reasons. Noise and repetition are a deadly combination, plus this record introduced the latest “one year in the music biz, so I’m qualified to be a talent show judge” in Ms. Ora, whose aura did nothing for me. 

4.  Bangarang — Skrillix feat. Sirah  Hey, I got an idea! Over our innocuous dance beat, let’s put a sound that’s reminiscent of a dentist’s drill! Sure, the kids’ll love it! This kid didn’t.

3.  Turn Up The Music — Chris Brown  It’s bad enough that the music industry, the fans, and possibly even his VICTIM have chosen to forgive this horrible man. In this, his first UK #1, he says the title 25 times, plus an additional 16 times for “turn it up.” And if there’s not enough overworn phrases, how about “If you’re sexy and you know it throw your hands in the air.” How about just the middle finger?

2.  Born To Die — Lana Del Rey  I didn’t know it was possible for someone to SING with a monotone, but LDR combines her three-note vocal range with one of the most funereal, dismal songs since Amy Winehouse’s “Back To Black.” I felt like shooting heroin the first time I heard it.

1.  Spectrum (Say My Name) — Florence + The Machine  I remember about a year ago hearing a Florence live performance on the radio and thinking OK, big voice, but it’s all over the scale and really hard to listen to. In this vocal morass, she presents the best argument yet for auto-tune, and Calvin Harris went along for this bumpy ride. Is someone pulling out her fingernails as she’s singing?