This is the first UK top ten I’ve seen in a while where I can actually remember what they all sound like, so there must be some sort of impact, whether good or bad remains to be seen. So here we go:

1. Forget You (AKA Fuck You) — Cee-Lo Green  Yeah, OK, it’s a decent vocal, and a moderately powerful song, but for the shock message, I still prefer Lily Allen’s song from her 2009 album which had the same title, but was actually a political harangue. Or for that matter, the old Harry Nilsson song that went “You’re breaking my heart, tearin’ it apart, so Fuck You.” This is also one of only four tunes this entire year to stay at #1 for more than one week. 

2. Just The Way You Are — Bruno Mars  Whew, I’m so glad that when I saw the title, then heard the song, that it didn’t start out “Don’t go changin!” It’s not the Billy Joel song, (and why the hell did Barry White bother with it?) but Bruno Mars is the most recent US R&B co-flavor of the month, along with Drake. Not a bad song, and Matt Cardle had a decent go at it on the latest X Factor.

3. Barbra Streisand — Duck Sauce  But not benefitting from choosing a current song for an X Factor performance was the duo Diva Fever, who chose to do this one-dimensional dance tune with its saving grace being the spoken repetition of the song’s title. The duo tried to add other names in their performance, but that repeating falsetto vocal riff doesn’t lend itself to much variation. Diva Fever were voted off, but that’s not the song’s fault. In spite of its monotony, there’s something rather fun about it.  

4/5. Miami 2 Ibiza — Swedish House Mafia VS. Tinie Tempah / Written In The Stars — Tinie Tempah feat. Eric Turner  It was interesting to hear these back to back when they did the chart countdown. Tinie is this year’s Dizzee Rascal, and I’m happy to say one of these two is good, while the other is feh!  First off, though, why do they indicate a collaborative effort with a VS, especially since the two acts involved are not really competing with each other but joining forces in the hopes of better sales? Splitting hairs, maybe, but #4 is a very solid house groove with Tempah running off every contemporary set of initials and making them rhyme, sort of. #5 is too much of a rehash of what he’d done on his debut entertaining single “Pass Out,” which rhymed “Scunthorpe” with “encore.” Nothing that interesting on this go-round, plus the guest vocal is white enough to be downright annoying.

6. Ambitions — Joe McElderry  First single off the album by last year’s X Factor winner, and if he hadn’t outed himself a month ago, you’d probably have heard this record and asked, “Why’s he sound so gay?” His falsetto vocal is a direct descendant of Jake Shears of Scissor Sisters, and I liked watching him perform it on X Factor, but then when I saw the actual lyrics, I was really let down. How many ways can you rewrite “Climb Every Mountain” or “Don’t Stop Thinking About Tomorrow?”

7. Shame — Robbie Williams & Gary Barlow  In which Robbie sings to Gary, “I’m sorry I was a right asshole,” and Gary sings back “And I’m sorry you were too, Robbie.” Surprisingly this hyped up reunion single didn’t make #1. 

8. Let The Sun Shine — Labrinth  Not enough Tinie Tempah connections, but Labrinth (né Timothy McKenzie) was the vocalist on the rapper’s first two singles. Now he’s become the first to be signed by Simon Cowell’s Syco label that has NO talent-show connection. Good for all parties concerned, because this is a fresh, spirited record, maybe my favorite in this top ten.    

9. Cooler Than Me — Mike Posner  This could be my second favorite, an anthem for nerds around the world. A nice little riposte, and there’s also an acoustic version which twice visits the chorus of Carly Simon’s “You’re So Vain,” very apropos to the song.

10. DJ Got Us Falling In Love — Usher feat. Pitbull  This one’s been around a while, for some reason vaulting 8 places back into the top ten, yet not due to any X Factor contestant singing it. This guy has had the whole game figured out for over ten years now, and the only new ground this one breaks is having Pitbull do a partial Latino rap. Otherwise, it’s pretty formulaic, though this time it’s more about dancing than shagging. Maybe with the next single, Usher will go back to the more tried and true.