After next Sunday, a breather

Published by Rick on Tagged Uncategorized

The Academy Awards ceremony on 7 March is the last in a ridiculously long line of awards ceremonies, at least until the autumn, when the Emmys and a whole slew of MTV-related shows for film, music, TV, video, and any other classification that gets the backing to televise, have their moment. In between, America will show several different country music awards shows, seemingly making sure that every country artist who’s had a top ten record over the previous decade wins SOMETHING! No matter what the theme of the ceremony, how interesting can it really be to see flavors-of-the-month hoping to get a prize which then increases their profile, drawing power, clout, bank account, ability to get prime tables at any posh restaurant, and any number of other perks? What do we, the viewers, get out of that? Well, unless we bet money on the outcome, virtually nothing.

I must confess, I’ve won THREE awards. My former act, Rick & Ruby, was a favorite among the San Francisco cabaret scene, and for about 10 years, they held an annual Bay Area Cabaret awards show, which was usually attended by some 500 people. We were nominated four times for “Best Comedy Group,” and the only time we all showed up (and performed) at the ceremony, we lost! When the winner was announced, I reacted much the same way Faith Hill did at a country awards show a few years ago; as the camera panned on all five nominees for Female Artist of the Year, and former American Idol winner Carrie Underwood won, the camera stayed on Hill just long enough to catch her giving a look as if to say “What the fuck!” I registered the same shock, as I’ve always been a bit of a sore loser, then proceeded to get drunk and obnoxious. Thus began my lessening interest in awards ceremonies of any kind. By the way, I have no idea whatever happened to my awards, having moved to four different places in LA, then back to San Francisco, and four places in London since last winning that award.

For the longest time, there was only the Oscars, but in the 1950s there came the Emmys, Grammys, and Tonys, the latter two ceremonies not being televised until the 1970s. To cover all the performing arts at once, the Golden Globes were introduced in 1944. In the 80s and 90s came all the MTV awards shows, while in Britain the BAFTA’s were initiated in 1948 and The Brit Awards in 1977. Oh and don’t forget all those specialised ones, like for comedy, country music, and nearly every other music genre. Have they come up with the Polka awards yet? The Gregorian Chant awards? In lieu of keeping track, I just boycott them all.

There’s also untelevised film award presentations like Directors’ and Writers’ Guilds, and others within various unions. I got to go to two Directors’ Guild award ceremonies in the early 90s because my then father-in-law was a member. That particular one gets no major push except that it has followed that nearly every winner for best picture at that invitation-only event usually takes the big prize at the Oscars as well. I was there the year Hollywood cosied up to Kevin Costner over “Dances With Wolves.” Had to at least give him some credit for showing up, since that ceremony is only attended by a few hundred, and very few members of the press. But just like all the rest, it was still primarily a schmoozefest. I went on consecutive years, and noticed how all these guys my dad’s age were with girls possibly of legal age. But the next year I went, and noticed very few young devotchkas were there, as this time, which my pa-in-law pointed out, the guys all decided to bring their wives!

So will I watch the Oscars? Maybe, since it is the grandaddy of them all, and although I’m gigging that night in London, the UK telecast doesn’t start until after midnight, just about when I’ll be getting home. It’s been a while since I watched, the last one being when Chris Rock hosted. I thought he did fine, even though his jokes about Jude Law pissed off Sean Penn enough to compel him to disparage Rock in defense of Mr. Law. But do I want to see James Cameron give another “King of the World” speech if “Avatar” wins? Only if I also fancy eating three-week-old sushi that’s been cross pollinated with raw hog jowls. I don’t like sushi to begin with!

February 16th, 2010

About Rick Right

• Stand up comedian
• Musician
• Vinyl DJ
• Voice over artist
• Musicologist
• Writer