ADDICTIONS AND ME

Published by Rick on Tagged Uncategorized

I write this on the 15th anniversary of my quitting cigarettes after nearly 30 years of smoking between 15 and 20 a day. This doesn’t count the years of smoking from my first puff at age 12 with friends at the edge of the schoolyard, then in varying degrees until age 18. The schoolyard antics were only stopped by a white trash lady who lived across the street from the school who called to report us. I had chosen not to indulge on that fateful day, but the other two got the 1963 form of discipline, for back then it was legal for the schools’ principals to paddle a student if they felt the offence warranted it. Still, the die was cast where I was concerned, though I didn’t really smoke much until I was about 15. By my senior year in high school, I was smoking a pack of 20 a day, often using my lunch money to buy them. A 1972 review of Rick and Ruby described me as “skinny, like ditching lunch period to go for a smoke skinny.” The reviewer had no idea how true that was, though by then it had been three years since I quit, and would remain smoke-free until 1981.

When I moved to LA at the start of ’81, it seemed that everyone I was hanging with was a smoker, and I got into the habit of bumming cigs until I said to myself “Look, you seem to like this, you better start paying for it.” Thus it would go for much of the next 29 years, sometimes quitting for as long as a year, but in two cases resuming smoking after a breakup of a long term relationship. “I’ll fix you, I’ll start smoking again” was my attitude. Guess I showed them!

The other thing about smoking was it seemed to go hand in hand with the other available addictions. Surely one who smoked couldn’t drink alcohol without smoking, or do cocaine. Smoking pot often worked at cross purposes, as it seemed difficult to mix the two different kinds of smoke, but not always. On one of my smoke-free trials, circa 1987, I remember being at a party where coke was being passed about and I kept vocally patting myself on the back for not wanting a cigarette after doing a couple of lines. I’m sure the people at the party were secretly taking bets as to how soon I would start up again, and sure enough, a month later I was back.

Fortunately, I never got so into recreational drugs that it got in the way of me taking care of business. I remember in the 80s being self-congratulatory about making enough money that I could afford to indulge, and still pay my necessary bills. This attitude continued until about 1990 when I got married for the second time. Since my then-wife was a former speed freak, it was probably best to not bring drugs into the marriage, so I gave it up. Also I found out much later on that the body doesn’t process as well when you get older. I had my last hit of cocaine when I was in Southampton in 2006, about 15 years after I’d last done it. I had finished a show and one of the other comics offered me a line. I did it, then chose to walk back to my hotel about a half hour later, as there was a TV show I wanted to watch. Somehow, everything was a blank from the time I got to the hotel until the next morning when I woke up around 10:30. At least I woke up in bed! Sort of the reverse effect of when I would stay up all night doing it until it was all gone, then sleep until the afternoon.

As for alcohol, that’s the one vice that’s still with me, unless you want to count caffeine. I usually have three cups of tea per day, but don’t drink coffee, never have. I constantly see posts on social media of people who have been through AA and have been sober 30 or 40 years, often knowing exactly how many days. I’m happy for them, but I wish their posts didn’t have this air of “I’m better/stronger than you.” I still work in pubs after 55 years of doing so, and if I get a complimentary drink every place I work, it’s not often that I turn it down. In my defence, I will say yes I drink, but can’t recall the last time I got drunk. I have had a few episodes in the past ten years or so of what some would consider a hangover, but nothing that ruined a whole next day for me. It’s possible I could have some incident or realisation that would wipe alcohol from my vice list, and maybe also helped by the fact that Maggie has pretty much given up drinking. I wish I could say that, but I’m also not going to beat myself up over it. I have one day a week designated dry, sometimes two. That’s the best I can do for now.

May 12th, 2025



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