15 Years Ago, and a TV Career Begins and Ends

Published by Rick on Tagged Uncategorized

It was 15 years ago this week that I began my first extended run of gigs in UK, leaving shortly after New Year’s Day 2001 and not returning to LA until the end of February. Being the newcomer on the scene, nearly all the available promotional entities were lining up to find out about the new Yank in town. I suppose that’s a glamorous way of putting it, but aside from a pretty steady flow of gigs in those seven weeks, I was doing at least one radio interview a week, usually on BBC affiliates. I was the spotlight act one week in TimeOut, the entertainment magazine I haven’t read in at least 10 years now. It was that article which led to interest from Channel 4’s once-prominent morning show, “The Big Breakfast.” It was my appearance on that show that could have derailed the career I was hoping for over here, but fortunately, the show was in such a decline ratings-wise that virtually no one was watching.

“The Big Breakfast” had had its heyday in the 1990’s when future household names (at least in Britain) hosted it, but now it was getting trounced in ratings by, oh, I would imagine reruns of “I Dream of Jeannie” could have done the trick. It was this sinking ship that I was invited on to show my great knowledge of pop music and its history, as the TimeOut article had mentioned that I know upwards of 10,000 songs, which I’m still pretty sure I do. But the show erased all that knowledge in a mere 3 minutes that seemed an eternity.

The plan was to have me on to start the show, take a few requests from the people in studio, then come back to me every 15-20 minutes with requests from home viewers. The day before, I’d had a long phone conversation with the show’s producer, letting him know that while I know a lot, it would be easy to stump me with things like album cuts or music that was little known outside of Britain. The producer understood, and assured me that he’d make sure the requests were for songs that were top 5 hits in either US or UK. The first of many promises unfulfilled.

The presenters for this show were former models Amanda Byram and Donna Air, and stand-up comedian Paul Tonkinson. All were born in the 1970’s, and they had their own requests/favorites that they’d want me to play. After a short on-air interview with Paul, I was moved to the center of the set, where Amanda mentioned her favorite song growing up was “Size Of A Cow” by Wonder Stuff, a 1991 song that I’d never heard and did not even have a copy of. Mild panic set in as I tried to make up my own tune using those words, but clearly a big hole was already dug, now it was just up to me to fall in it.

Mission accomplished with the next request, “Brown Girl In The Ring” by Boney M. I knew it was a B-side of “Rivers of Babylon,” the only Boney M song to make the US top 40, so I tried to circumvent my not knowing that tune by doing a line of the A-side. “That’s a different song,” sputtered one of the crew, and now I was in the hole waiting for dirt to be piled on. I was given a small rope to hoist myself out with before they’d go to commercial, as one of the cameramen asked for “Whole Lotta Love” by Led Zeppelin, which I’d been doing a lounge band version of in my live act, so I went ahead and did it, thinking I’d saved some of my dignity and reputation.

As they went to commercial, I was mortified, thinking I might have just killed my UK career in record time. I was within earshot of a production assistant on her headset, and heard her say, “OK, Rick out?” She then “kindly” escorted me back to the front lobby of the studio, where I could contact my driver and be taken home to sleep this one off, as it was now only 7:30 and just beginning to get light outside. While waiting for the driver, I was treated to the show playing on the monitor, where they’d returned from commercial, and Paul talking to the other two. “I think we were totally ripped off on that one. I don’t think he knew anything, maybe he was just a con artist,” was his assessment. There would actually be a friendship that would develop between him and me, but it didn’t start that day.

What I found out later, and the bigger reason they escorted me out, was that the hosts were shown a master list of songs that they had clearance for public performances of. The first two were on that list, but the Led Zeppelin one was not, and it apparently cost the show £3000 for unauthorized use. So no one came out looking good in this one. Paul left the show a few weeks later, and Donna followed, but Amanda managed to stay through to the show’s demise only a year later, and not only continued to get work work as a host, but even did so in the US.

After Paul had left the show, he resumed his stand-up career, and about six months after this debacle, we were on the same bill in Nottingham. He came up to me in the dressing room and his first words were, “I believe you hate me?” My response was, “Well, I don’t NOW!” On reflection of his time on the show, he said, “I did 57 episodes of that show, and I think I did 56 bad ones.” He turned out to be a nice guy, and we became friends. We now live in the same part of London, and recently, he showed up at the pub where I DJ just to offer words of encouragement. Donna Air, meanwhile, hasn’t really had to work at all since she left the show, as she seems to keep falling into high profile relationships with rich men, the latest (though over now) being James Middleton, the Duchess of Cambridge’s brother.

Just how badly the show’s ratings had dropped was manifested to me nearly a year later, when a man was talking to me after a gig, and asked me, “Were you the one they made a fool of on The Big Breakfast?” I said I was, and he remarked how it was the first time he’d watched the show in a year, and it would also be the last time. I sure as hell never watched it. Oh, and I know now how “Size Of A Cow” goes.

January 8th, 2016



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