WHEN SPINAL TAP WAS MY OPENING ACT

Published by Rick on Tagged Uncategorized

I might have forgotten a series of gigs I did from the late 1990s until the early 2010s had the Spinal Tap movie sequel not been released yesterday. I did several corporate events with my musical cohort Joshua Raoul Brody to lead “anything-goes” sorts of jam sessions. There were two in San Francisco, one in San Jose (CA), one in Las Vegas, one in Texas, one in Orlando (FLA), one in Hawaii, and one on an island a couple miles off the coast of San Juan, Puerto Rico. On all of them, we led a makeshift band with instruments and microphones available for people to play and sing their favourite songs. Live Karaoke, for lack of a better phrase. With Joshua on keyboard and me on guitar, and the two of us singing backups, there were magnificent moments as well as near disasters. We would eventually enlist our own drummer, as most of those near disasters involved drummers who had no concept of tempo or rhythm.

The big plus was that they paid well enough that for the gigs outside California, we could afford to take the airfares off the top, even with me living in England. This came in handy for the Puerto Rico gig. That one was in 2002, and involved me flying first to Dublin, then New York, then San Juan, but got there with a day to spare. It was rather sad going from SJ airport to the posh hotel we were being lodged at, as we had to pass through areas of extreme poverty. The next day involved riding a ferry to a small island where the actual event took place. Shortly after we got to the island, there was a hurricane warning issued, which scared me, but fortunately the storm moved north of the island and we had clear skies and calm seas for the party. We had an appreciative audience, some of whom were from England, and the next day I was back on the same flight pattern, but a few thousand dollars wealthier.

The San Jose gig was a mess, as we were in a concert venue of an auditorium, but most of the party seemed to be going on in the lobby. Our audience was limited, to say the least, and to top it off, one guy who got up to sing wanted to do a Pink Floyd song I’d never heard before, which for me was about 90% of their output. We suggested he just start singing and perhaps we’d be able to follow, but the song had way too many chord changes. The song fell apart, and he left the stage with a comment along the lines of “You guys don’t know jack shit.” When the next guy came up to sing, I said “This better not be a Pink Floyd song or I might have to kill you,” which upset Joshua, as he asserted we have to behave since they’re paying us so much. He was probably right, but I was annoyed and couldn’t control it.

In Texas, all I remember was a young guy who sang Elton John’s “Don’t Let The Sun Go Down On Me” so brilliantly that when he left the stage, I commented “There’s someone who probably won’t sleep alone tonight.” Similarly in one of the San Francisco gigs, a young guy said he wanted to do “Whole Lotta Love” by Led Zeppelin. I was intrigued, then asked, “Do you do it in the key of the record?” When he said yes, I knew it would be great, and he nailed it. Those were standout performances in otherwise a cavalcade of mediocre singers and musicians, most of them drunk, but it was only a couple hours out of our lives, and we made some people happy in the process.

In Orlando, we were at the Hard Rock Cafe circa 2007, and staying in the adjacent hotel. This gig made me decide to hate Florida, long before the Trump/DeSantis era made the state what it is today. My only complaint then was about the weather, where storms would come in and dump about three inches of rain in maybe ten minutes. The gig had its problems as well, because while we were set up in a bar area, the big stage was taken by the Canadian band Barenaked Ladies, who were best known for the theme to Big Bang Theory. We had about an hour of participation from the attendees, but as soon as the Ladies started, the entire convention of probably 1500 people all went to that venue, leaving us with no one but ourselves. Oh well, still got paid.

Which brings us to the 2005 San Francisco gig we shared with Spinal Tap. We shared a backstage area with them, but not a word was spoken between our faction and theirs. In retrospect, I would like to think they were intent on staying in character from the time they arrived at the gig, which makes sense to some degree. I just didn’t appreciate one incident where Derek Smalls (Harry Shearer) had to use the toilet, which had multiple stalls and urinals, but one of his assistants blocked anyone else from using the loo while Derek was in there. Didn’t matter that my bladder was near bursting and there was no other loo anywhere nearby.

Spinal Tap would do about 45 minutes, which also included an appearance by an 11-year-old kid who had already become a bit of a guitar virtuoso. He was being mentored by Kirk Hammett from Metallica, convenient for him since they’re from San Francisco. Certainly a special day for the kid, too, because not only was he jamming with Spinal Tap and Kirk Hammett, but it was also his birthday. I’m sure he remembers that one quite well. I don’t remember anything from Spinal Tap’s set, but Joshua was watching with me, and commented at one point that it appeared that Derek/Harry left the stage with one of the female backing singers, then returned to the stage about three minutes later with a big smile while the singer re-entered a few moments after, wiping her mouth. Bad boys!

It was odd that our jam session was to follow all that, but I was pleasantly surprised by how many stuck around to play and sing with us. The only problem we had was people kept bringing their drinks on stage and though we tried to tell them in the nicest way to please leave their drinks behind, there were a few who thought we were telling them to stay off the stage altogether.

Sadly, those gigs came to an end when the guy who was booking those gigs died of cancer in the mid 2010s. Still a nice profitable sidelight that fits nicely on my “been there done that” checklist.

September 13th, 2025



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