MY BIGGEST ONSTAGE A**HOLE MOMENT

Published by Rick on Tagged Uncategorized

This post won’t be a commemorative one, though I had initially planned to write about the 30th Anniversary of my first ever gig outside North America. Turned out, searching my archives, I found I had told that story in April of 2018, including the total hack/asshole I worked with. So as I started to think about what an asshole he was, I said to myself “Wait a minute! Weren’t YOU an asshole numerous times on stage, like maybe when you were drunk?” Then this horrible evening dating back to spring of 1986 came to mind.

I had been working as a solo standup for approximately 6 months and was getting plenty of experience dealing with negative elements, and gaining more confidence in the process. I was booked for three nights at San Francisco’s legendary Holy City Zoo, the first full time SF comedy club. I even had a bonus with the local TV news doing a piece on me going solo after nearly 15 years with Rick & Ruby. The host of the segment was the late Jack Hanson, a long time SF-TV presenter who also happened to be best friends with my future father-in-law, though I had only just started dating my future second wife a couple months before. Hanson had been a fan of us, which gave him the initial impetus to produce the segment complete with an interview. They filmed the segment during the day so it could air in time to promote the gig. Didn’t matter, as I asked the small crowd that night if anyone had seen the segment on channel 7’s 6:00 news. Two people raised their hands. “Oh the power of the media,” I intoned.

That was only the Thursday night. Crowds were larger for the weekend shows, two per night, and I didn’t bother asking any of the audiences who had seen the TV segment. On the Saturday I was double-booked, doing a set with my band Thee Stupeds in between the two sets I was doing at The Zoo. The band gig was a private party with plenty of booze available, so I sang with the band, then left the party and scurried back to the Zoo a bit the worse for wear. As it turned out there was a different act opening for me in the late show Saturday. They were an improvisational duo. This would be my undoing.

Let me begin by saying I respect the ability to improvise based on audience suggestions. My best friend Joshua (aka Raoul) has made a living for decades playing keyboard for various improv groups. It’s a skill that only a select few have. I admired LA’s Groundlings troupe, and was even more flattered when members of that group, most notably Paul Reubens, gave us their praise. Robin Williams was great at it, so was his idol Jonathan Winters, and I remember from early 1960s TV how brilliant such comedians as Red Skelton, Steve Allen, and Jerry Lewis could be in those moments. But quite often improv groups are comprised of performers that aren’t quite confident enough to go on their own, so often rely on the other stage members to bail them out if a scene isn’t working. The duo at the Zoo was a little further along than that.

Rick & Ruby had followed this same duo maybe two years earlier at a venue in Concord, CA, and they completely sapped the audience’s energy with their 45 minutes of occasional brilliance. I felt defeated before we even began our set and it was a tough night for us. There was even a couple who were long time fans of ours who left early! Now I was facing the same scenario with the same duo two years later, except now I didn’t have my partner to play off of. Plus, I was drunk. The duo kept going, and going, and going, and I was under the mistaken notion that they were only supposed to be doing 20-25 minutes. I could have sat quietly and let things pass, but not me, the crocked 6-month veteran of the comedy club circuit who thought he knew all there was to know about charming audiences.

As their set went past the 30 and 35-minute mark, I went outside the club and talked to an old comedian friend about how much this was pissing me off. He was not a fan of improv either, but in trying to tell him I thought it sucked donkey dick, I said dick donkey, and he being a recovered alcoholic, said “I think you’ve had too much to drink, pal.” I sort of agreed but went back inside, where the duo were riffing and tearing the place apart. Perhaps it was remembering the previous gig with them, but I chose to start tromping through the club very loudly. which didn’t go unnoticed by the duo. “Something wrong, Rick?” said one of them. “Oh nothing an hour-long set wouldn’t cure,” which in retrospect didn’t make much sense, but the duo abruptly left the stage and the MC had to hurriedly get back on to introduce me.

Well, the crowd didn’t like their fun being destroyed by this uppity comic, so the minute I got on stage, a good half of the audience headed for the exits. I had my comeuppance, and it took me what felt like an hour to get my first laugh. It didn’t help that I started by belittling the idea of improv and how it’s not the way I thought comedy should be. How was I to know that only a year or so later, I would find my own brand of improv that I still use to this day? I saw one of the duo later and apologised for being rude, but he said they were hired to do 45 minutes, as they were co-headlining with me. And so an early lesson: If you’re going to be an asshole, make sure you know exactly WHY you’re being one before being one.

July 31st, 2024



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