Forgiving and Such

Published by Rick on Tagged Uncategorized

                 On February 9, 2009, I returned to London after two beautiful weeks in South Africa, made some money, got accolades, missed some atrocious UK weather. I was returning to a marriage that was not going well, and hadn’t been for almost three years, and truly didn’t know how much longer we would endure. That was answered when the Mrs. got home from work that evening. The encapsulated version of it all is “Welcome home, I’ve met someone new, Get Out!” The first response from me was “You c**t,” and it would be the first of many thousand times she would be referred to by that name only. A full glass of wine also found its target on my hearing the joyous news, the only time I’ve ever done anything like that.

                   Fast forward three years and a couple relationships down the line, and being in a compatible one for the last 15 months, it’s incredible that my ex and I have actually become friends, something I couldn’t have imagined a year or so ago. While it seems inconceivable now that we could have ever had SEX, let alone fallen in love and gotten married, it makes me feel safer in the knowledge that there is no threat of our renewed friendship being anything more than that.  When she made the split official, it was a release of a lot of tension, and in retrospect, I’m relieved she met someone else, as it seemed we were just going to stay together in name only, and separate bedroom syndrome was looming just around the corner. 

                    Yes, I got it wrong for the THIRD time in my life, and I’m quite sure that my current love and I are just going to stay boyfriend/girlfriend indefinitely with no trip to the altar in sight. I kinda like that! Time certainly heals wounds, but karma is a contributing factor as well. My ex broke up with her lover about a year ago, and I managed to avoid gloating over it. That’s probably one of the main reasons we have been able to become friends.

                       I won’t prattle on about the horrible months that followed this ignominious date of three years ago, and my own amazement that I could hate one individual so very much, because time has allowed me to navigate past it. We don’t see that much of each other anyway, living about 40 miles apart, so we won’t have much chance to bring up any of the old animosities. And maybe I’m just too much of a forgiving soul to hold long term grudges. My friends and family got to hear me vent for most of 2009, that’s plenty!!   


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