213 Days A.D.

Published by Rick on Tagged Uncategorized

AD in this case means the misconception that so many of us had growing up, that if BC meant “Before Christ,” then of course AD would mean “After Death,” as though there were some 33 years that were left untracked or unaccounted for.

But with today, the 16th of October, 2013 AD (from the Latin words “Anno domini,” meaning “In the year of our lord,” for those who STILL don’t know) being what would have been Eileen’s 63rd birthday, it was 213 days ago that her spirit passed on, or however you want to cryptically say she died. She was a stickler for that, as well. Once when I referred to that unpleasant day in our then future as “when you go to meet Elvis,” she replied, “Don’t try to sugar coat it or dance around it. The phrase is ‘when I die,’ and let’s keep it at that!” Thus today is 213 days AD, in the incorrect interpretation.

Today being her birthday served as a further reminder of what’s missing in my life, and in case I forgot, there was ole Facebook to give me a big nudge. FB hasn’t figured out how to automatically delete accounts when someone dies (or maybe it has and I don’t know it), so in addition to reminding me what day it was, they also encouraged me to “send a gift,” or “send a card.” Yeah, OK, I’m on it.

In the seven months since her passing, I have moved on in many ways. I am now in what could be called a relationship, but since it’s with someone who lives nearly 6000 miles away, I can continue my own ways of remembering Eileen while I’m in England. When I’m here, I’m more able to walk around what is now “our” neighborhood without getting broken up when I see or hear a remnant of our time together. When something happens that I think would have piqued her interest, I tend to say to myself, “Eileen would have loved this,” instead of “I can’t wait to tell her, but oh, wait a minute…”

I do regret that she didn’t stick around long enough for me to actually become her neighbor, which happened three months after. At least while she was alive, she was aware that the move was pending. Sadly, it’s more than possible that my current living situation could have been in place whether or not cancer intervened. I didn’t get the invite to this co-op solely on a sympathy vote.

I wrote the full-on tribute to Eileen one day after her death, and if you never saw it, it’s on my website rickright.com. There’s not much to add to that eulogy, except that I continue to look at various photos from her life, and marvel at how she packed so much into her 62 years. I’m sure there will be many October 16th’s in the future that I will set aside to remember my time with her. In the meantime, Happy Birthday, miss you.

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